One of the best things about lockdown is that I don't have to go into shops, and not going into shops means that I haven't had to listen to Mariah Carey singing "All I Want For Christmas Is You" incessantly while people push their way past one another buying cheap cologne and a Cadbury's selection … [Read more...] about Searching For The Festive Spirit
Loss
A Death In The Family
My mother-in-law died this week at the end of a decline that felt much longer than it was. She left the room where my children were nursed as babies, where I read "The House At Pooh Corner" to my son so many nights in a row that I no longer needed the book. She left while nobody was looking, … [Read more...] about A Death In The Family
Working On Thoughts About Death
I'm hunched over my laptop preparing for an online conference by completing an exercise on attitudes to death. I'm writing about how I'm fine talking about death because I feel like I experienced quite a lot of it growing up although, as I write, I realise I also think about it a lot. My … [Read more...] about Working On Thoughts About Death
Rotten Fish And Regret
I'm walking with my sister up the narrow path which leads into the park. It's not yet 8 am but I can feel the strength of the sun on the backs of my legs as the dog pulls to one side trying to get hold of a half-eaten apple. In the park, a few people dressed in lycra run past making no sound save … [Read more...] about Rotten Fish And Regret
Taking Care Of Everything
My daughter is feeding ice cream to her grandmother, now too weak to feed herself. "It's hard to see the people who looked after us not able to look after themselves," I say. She agrees, but she's happy to do it. It reminds me of having to help my father get out of the bath or go to the … [Read more...] about Taking Care Of Everything