Two disparate events moved me to write this week about the drawbacks of stoicism. First, I completed a round-trip of some 15 hours duration to have Daisy's (my dog) lameness properly diagnosed by a specialist vet who, rather inconveniently, lives in another country. It turns out that she's been … [Read more...] about Why Agency Beats Stoicism When It Comes To Recovery
Relationships
Sober Relationships
The Sunday I watched my father zipped into a body bag and removed from the living room didn't seem an obvious point at which there would be a change in the relationship I'd witnessed him have with my mother. That morning, he would have been listening to Brahms or Beethoven, maybe Grieg and … [Read more...] about Sober Relationships
Is Agreeableness Overrated?
A number of things have converged this week causing me to think about how we connect to others and, more specifically, the role that agreeableness plays in doing so. The first was a message from my daughter telling me that she'd split up with her boyfriend. They've been trying to address their … [Read more...] about Is Agreeableness Overrated?
Trusting The Process
On the train, we sit separately because so many people are travelling. From where I am I can look up the carriage towards Martin facing me. He holds up his phone and takes a picture of my withering expression. In these moments I think about how different it could have been had he not stopped … [Read more...] about Trusting The Process
Secure Attachment
I wrote this piece some years ago but never posted it. I'm not sure why. I came across it this week when I was looking for a systemic family therapist and realised how hard it is to find good therapists with availability. I'm about to do some further training and need to be in therapy as part … [Read more...] about Secure Attachment