Flicking through Instagram I come across a post from Derek Halpern, entrepreneur, and social media expert. It is a photo of what he describes as “my favourite picture in my house” which is a framed tweet from Kanye West which reads, “I need a room full of mirrors so I can be surrounded by winners”
It irritated me so much I unfollowed Halpern, reducing his audience to one fewer than his current 17.9k.
Jung once said, “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”
It’s true, the idea that being surrounded by winners is unfalteringly desirable reminds me of all my failures.
In therapy once I said, “I can do a lot of things quite well but nothing brilliantly” I was talking about my perceived inability to be a winner.
A constant belief that I held myself back was probably the only thing that held me back.
When I had my own children I finally understood that self-value and “winning” are both important, but not connected. I have tried to teach them that a belief in themselves is the key to winning rather than winning being the only route to believing in themselves.
It is no surprise that in Kanye West’s tweet there is not a hint of humility because that is not his brand. But a lack of humility brings with it a kind of myopia.
Underneath the post by Halpern his legion of followers had posted approving comments into the echo chamber;
“Bro that’s awesome”
“Love”
“Kanye is so special”
If you only listen to the people who believe what you believe the world becomes smaller.
My own Twitter feed is awash with left-leaning people who have a strong social conscience with an interest in mental health and sourdough bread.
“Bro that’s so awesome”
“Love”
“Spelt flour is so special”
One of the favourite pictures I have in my house is one of me that my friend Martin drew. It was done from a photo he took some years ago when we used to meet every Wednesday morning for coffee.
He was relatively new into recovery from alcoholism and I was rebuilding after my relationship had fallen apart. I’d sunk into a deep depression and had ended up in a psychiatric unit.
I’m not sure we knew it then but it was helpful not because we sat and agreed that we were winners, but because we encouraged one another to accept and embrace the many ways in which we definitely weren’t.
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