Sorting through some papers I come across letters written years ago to an old girlfriend. Reading the flimsy sheets it is hard to fully recognise the hand that wrote them. I'm filled with emotions and most of them are uncomfortable. I feel strangely ashamed of my younger self, the naivety grates and … [Read more...] about Why Emotions Change Much Slower Than Your Mind
Self Acceptance
Why You Can’t Say No – And How To Fix It
I live close to a church and, as I watch the congregation flock to the doors on a Sunday morning, I wonder how many of them show up because they feel they should, rather than because they want to. My mother had a strong faith which had been handed down to her by her father. With my elder brother … [Read more...] about Why You Can’t Say No – And How To Fix It
Why Outcome Isn’t The Only Thing That Matters
I’m training Daisy to recall at the whistle. It’s a rewarding if lengthy process. In the house or garden she’s solid, but out in the wild, when there are other dogs to play with and disgusting things to eat in the undergrowth, it’s sometimes a different story. I persevere because it’s important and, … [Read more...] about Why Outcome Isn’t The Only Thing That Matters
Why Understanding Anger Might Make You Less Angry
A few years ago my son went to return a pair of shoes when they began to fall apart after only a few weeks of wearing. When the manager refused to refund him he called me to tell me what had happened and I immediately felt a rage bubbling up inside me. Unfairness really makes my blood boil. An hour … [Read more...] about Why Understanding Anger Might Make You Less Angry
Why Projecting Your Feelings Isn’t Helpful
Tom is in Brighton this weekend for his girlfriends birthday. Lena has just started at University, studying to become a doctor. In these first few weeks I have really worried for Tom, wondering how he is coping with being separated from her. They’ve been together for nearly five years, and I feared … [Read more...] about Why Projecting Your Feelings Isn’t Helpful