March 3, 2019
I went to see Mr Pascoe every Wednesday at 12.30. I would drive the twenty minutes from my office and sit in his shabby waiting room with the pleasant receptionist who didn’t have a computer and never seemed busy. When he called me in he would leave the room while I got undressed. I remember […]
Read More
February 24, 2019
In my dream, I can see an ex-lover across the road in the small hut where I used to go to pre-school, but I can’t reach her. She is saying something to me but I can’t hear her. As I turn the corner and approach the church, it is gone, raised to the ground and […]
Read More
February 17, 2019
Lying awake late I wonder why I’m not asleep. The urge to enquire soon passes with the knowledge that chasing sleep succeeds only in pushing it further away. I need music to soothe me and I scroll through the classical playlists on Spotify wishing my father was here so I could ask him what to […]
Read More
February 10, 2019
On the radio, there is an interview with Polly Harvey about her score for a new production of “All About Eve”. She speaks with freedom about her art and, at that moment, I think of all the ways I have held myself back. Like love, great art relies on openness. Like love, openness can only […]
Read More
February 3, 2019
My mother went through a stage of making too many chicken casseroles. Shortly after I’d left home I had to go back there to be fed because, as a result of Black Wednesday, my mortgage repayments had become so severe that I literally couldn’t afford to feed myself or heat the house. Each Sunday I’d […]
Read More